To write my story I made a plan at the top of my page. Then I wrote my story underneath. The green writing shows the editing I have done and the red parts show what Mr Masters helped me with.
My published copy:
I went fishing with Papa, Donte and Uncle LJ. We woke up at 6.00am then we went on the ocean on Papa’s boat. When i first cast my line in the water, I caught a fish but when I got it on the side of Papa’s boat the fish got off the line I tried to get the tail of the fish but it was too fast and too slippery. Uncle L.J put on my bait because the first fish that i caught ate my bait. Then I cast my line again. When you see light blue colour coming out of the water that means you caught a fish. It is orange and shiny when it is out of the water. It was a snapper! We caught 16 snappers and 5 kahawai. One of them whipped me with its tail. If it is a snapper, it sometimes stops in the fight. I got a little one and it swallowed my hook so we had to keep the little fish. When we were going back to shore I got splashed by water and my brother laughed at me.
Reflection - I liked it when I finally got to take off the red and green.
Have you been fishing before?
